Family

When I think about my family .... my heart swells.
When I think about my loving parents and their amazing capacity to love, a smile graces my face. When I think about my brother and how close we've become, I feel as though I now have a new best friend. When I think about my wife and the love she shows me on a daily basis, I feel as though I have been given something that most people don't experience in their lifetime.

When I think about family, I don't think about ease. I don't think about perfection, life in general is messy and family can be just that. But all in all I see family as a beautiful unit of love. If we can move through change and self revelations together, than we really can conquer anything.

Society portrays this idea of ease, it portrays this idea of unconditional love that truly is a false sense of what the depth of that phrase means. Unconditional love is a battle, it's a movement towards a greater capacity of love than what may come naturally. It's finding that depth of love that brings us closer to the kind of love that God has for us. It's understanding that truly such love has no boundaries, and doesn't hold back. Unconditional love is not easy, but in the end it is the kind of love that really brings families to a new level of close. Unconditional love is something I feel from everyone I hold close in my life. It's something that's helped me keep a smile on my face and shine... just as I am.

Thank you.. Mom, Dad, Pat and my amazing Wife.

This is my prayer....

I went to church this morning, the first Sunday after the vote here in Maine. My church has been supportive on Question 1 and I tried to prep myself that they would touch on it in chapel this morning. My pastor touched on this idea of tradition, and this idea that some have about preserving tradition. As the Yes on 1 campaign clung to this idea so strongly. In the message this morning we spoke of Jesus as a liberator. We spoke of Jesus as being the one to move forward and break down barriers rather than build them up. We spoke about music, over the years the music has remained constant though the method through which we hear it is always changing. We've moved from record players onto mp3 players but the music still remains constant. Progress has been beneficial, and if we look at this analogy we can remind ourselves that in the same way that music has remained a constant in the progress of technology God will remain constant as we move forward in our faith and inclusiveness.

My church took 5 years, 5 whole years of study before they came out as an open and affirming congregation in 2000. Civil rights movements take time, they are painful and they are long processes. One thing that remains the same is that we always look back and wonder why it took so long. Why did it take so long for the church to realize that scripture did not condone slavery. Why did it take so long for the church to realize that women should have a voice within the church and within political sphere's. We look back now and think, wow, how did we ever contemplate if the church should or should not be accepting of that? Once again we are in this moment of change, we are in the midst of another big movement forward. In the midst of this movement at times I feel as though it's hard enough being a lesbian but also being a Christian makes it unbearable. Seeing others who identify as christian attending churches where their pastors preach that a vote for equal marriage rights for same sex couples is their ticket to hell. Some how we are one in the same through our radical difference.

The Jehovah's witnesses that come to our door every Saturday asked me this weekend, if you could change one thing about the world what would it be? Seems like a question that could take a lot of thought but I answered quickly. I wish we could learn to be one human family, something I've been thinking/writing about lately. I wish it were enough to love God and love my wife and walk among people who may think differently. I wish we could all be humble enough to claim that no one can possibly have the ultimate truth, no priest or pastor has the ultimate set in stone truth. Even with bible in hand we are human and have our own interpretations and our own convictions of truth. We are one in the same, we are all uncertain to some extent.

I just need to hold on to this idea of Jesus as a liberator, to hold tight to this faith that has seen Jeannie and I through so much adversity. To hold on to this idea that God ultimately is love and has no real hand in any hatred that may come our way.
"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight ..." - Philippians 1:9.

And so we move forward, and stay the course knowing that progress is happening and in our marriage and in our daily life God remains the constant.